big day. but my heart is with some other special kids today...

i saw my very first clients today. this is huge, because it was the first day i got to do what i'm actually studying to do. real people with real problems. no more slap happy role-playing with allison and kristina. don't get wrong, those were life-changing and all ("what i'm hearing you say is you need a support system....like a running club"...true story. i actually joined a running club at allison's advice during a fake counseling session for one of our classes. the girls was made to be a counselor :) however, this was my first session, alone. with a client. who needs help. anyway, it was a good first time experience, but it left me exhausted. i trust that it will get easier, and i will be able to roll with it a little more. and still have something leftover afterwards.

also started psychopathology and am actually looking forward to it. i think we're going to learn tons, and i have a renewed resolve to make the most of each class. i think i slacked off too much last semester and, i am honestly ashamed to say, slid by wiht the bare minimum in a class or two. there were reasons, but they're not good ones.

a friend asked me to burn a copy of the alison krauss/gillian welch version of "i'll fly away." which the prompted me to dig out some nickel creek. which i am now OBSESSED with. like, can't stop listening to it. i wonder if my brother will find this music choice acceptable. doubtful.

i mustered up enough willpower to drag my sorry self down tot he gym for 30 minutes tonight. and THEN i dropped my key in the grass. in the dark. awesome. so i borrowed a flashlight from a neighbor and rooted around the lawn on my hands a knees for what felt like 10 minutes. it was probably more liek 2 and a half. but it was an event. what a life i lead sometimes.

ok, now bear with me.
today was the last day for gcs seniors...when i was teaching the last day for seniors was always a bittersweet kind of day. but, these kids were just entering 9th grade when i first met and taught them. i cannot believe they are done. that class always held a very special place in my heart, so its sad to think they're moving on into the world. i am so so excited for them, because i remember how wide open the world felt when i graduated. but in a sense, they're still that goofy class i had my first year. don't get me wrong, they have grown tremendously. i am so proud of the people they have become, but it is bittersweet to think that they have accomplished all they could at grace, and are now ready for the next stage of life. i will always remember the funny things they said, how they were going to buy me a pair of etnies (as if i'd ever wear them...but it never happened) how i told zach and ronald i'd give them an A in science for the rest of their high school careers if they build a working 100-yard teeter totter (and they acutlaly thought it might work), how they NEVER let me live down the fact that we didn't do rube goldberg projects their freshman year, singing the 12 cranial nerve song with then 2 years in a row, the molympics (on october 23 hehe), how they used to beg me to call my brother during class because they thought he was hilarious even having never met him, how i'd look up, and the whole class would be smiling at some inside joke they were playing on me, how they talked about their previous science teacher mr faust (to the point where there was a class rule that they could only say his name twice per day!), girl talk time (gtt) with the girls, and how the boys all wrote me goodbye letters when i told them i was moving and wouldn't be around their senior year. i saved those, and the letters from the girls as well in my "never ever ever throw away" box.

i clearly remember telling them last may that i'd be going to grad school and not returning to grace, and looked up from the letter i was reading from, to see a room full of teary eyes. i completely lost it, because they were (and still are) such a blessing in my life. not a day went by that i didn't laugh with that class, and not a day goes by now that i don't miss teaching. . i loved being their teacher, i miss seeing them and laughing with them every day, and i wish them all the best. so alli, kristyn, kristen, mel, sarah, steph, jess, ron, easton, nate, rick, if you happen upon this and read it, know that i have complete confidence that God will use you to do great things in this life...and i'll be cheering you on! i love you all.

and....tears....