terrain.

talk about a slump, people.
do you ever wonder what it will take to start doing what you're not only supposed to do, but more than that, what you're meant to do? and you can take that as you willl...as deep as you desire. i could be talking about life calling or i could be talking straight up household chores. it doesn't really matter..this summer i have consistently been a disappointment to myself. and i can only imagine what kind of kick in the pants god wants to give me right now. not only are my daily routines nonexistent, but my direction is confused, and i have wasted so much time. and for all the sheer relaxing i've done, i am weary. seriously?

what gives?

i almost hate to broadcast this because my life is so easy. i have it so good. so very good. even as i write this, i am thinking of a handful of precious people in my life who are walking through true valleys in life right now. and some of them are walking that path so well.

there's a book i thumbed through a few years ago...i never read it (because i was at borders and i hadn't yet discovered the joy of staking out camp in the store and reading a book cover to cover in one sitting.) but it's called peaks and valleys, and if i remember right, the premise was that the valleys in life are important because they magnify the mountaintop experiences. we only relish those peaks because we know what the depths feel like. anyway, i'm not saying i'm in a valley right now...just a long flat road. it's like driving though central indiana. not the worst place to be, but entirely unintersting unless you like corn and soybeans.

ok i know im not even making sense. but i do have a plan. and it includes, but is not limited to:
-facebook hiatus. um, i would hate to see the number of DAYS of my life wasted checking statuses and looking at pictures of people i've not talked to in years. puh-leeese.
-intentional time spend reading the bible in the morning. 6am, no questions asked. not trying to be legalistic here, but i know the sense of peace and perspective when i make this a priority. the times in my life where i have made this a priority stand out as truly precious ones in my life, no matter the circumstances. try it. you'll like it.
-seeking others out and making things happen (fun and exciting plans in the works, stay tuned!)
-deliberate prayer regarding where i should be serving others. i tend to be selfish with my time (shocking i know!), and then i turn around and waste it.
-resolving to be the best substitute chemistry teacher/slash/counsleor mt vernon has ever seen. high fives all around.

that's all i got. off to play tennis and write to my grandma. big day, my friends. big day.

(in other news, look at my new scarf i got using my kohls cash. i didn't feel like an idiot at all for smiling big into my webcam in public.)