why thank you, mr. bagel man

first things first: i have rediscovered one of my old favorite songs. i want you to be my love by over the rhine. BUY IT. you will not regret it. and valentine's day is nearly here, so you know.. there's that.

oh my friends, life is good. i began my internship on tuesday. i was incredibly anxious about it, but darn it, did my best to pretend that it was no big deal. but oh let me tell you. i looked to january with a considerable amount of dread. and emotional eating (note to self: do not buy reese peanut butter cups in times such as these). but i guess the good news is that i also spent lots of time on the elliptical. nothing like guilt to drive you to work out. which then lifts your spirits via endorphins. so it's a not-so-vicious cycle afterall. ba-da-bing ba-da-boom. but i digress...

SO. i love love love how God shows mercy through people. through strangers. it all began on a snowy indiana morning. i woke up on tuesday morning, fully prepared to "preach truth to my soul." i had worried for DAYS about this morning. so i got up early to kind of think and reflect and mostly gear up. and also give myself a talking to about all this crazy worry....things such as:

-you have no need to be worried about starting this internship.
-God is in control
-what's the worst that could come of this experience?
-you are going to learn SO MUCH

yaddayadda.

anyway, i woke up with a wonderful sense of peace about everything. (inexplicable? i think not)
and i...
made my coffee
allowed myself 2 tsp of gingerbread creamer (only for special occasions!)
made a ham sandwich (new fave lunch)
drove to mt vernon high school (my new site)
got there EARLY
was welcomed warmly by all 4 counselors on staff.
spent the day in meetings. learned TONS.
drove to panera between internship and iwu class
got free bagels
went to class
went to the gym
got my butt royally kicked by boot camp william during step class.

to which you say.... "BACK THE TRUCK UP....FREE BAGELS? do tell!"
to which i reply, "GLADLY."

so in celebration of day #1 at mt vernon. and out of pretty extreme hunger (oh libby, so dramatic), I stopped at panera for a cup of coffee and a gingerbread bagel, sliced, toasted, and no cream cheese. to go, please. and the guy working said

"ooh today's the last day for gingerbread bagels."

to which i said

"bummer."

to which he laughed

" i think you're the only one who eats them."

and i had no reply, because that's downright shocking.

{they are the most worth-it 350 calories you could possibly imagine, especially paired with HOT hazelnut coffee.}

so i smiled at him and said, "that is too bad. they are so good." so anyway, while he was slicing my bagel, i got my own coffee and when i turned around, mr bagel man had given me a to-go bag FULL of gingerbread bagels. now. i'm about to tell you something, and i need you to not laugh.

my eyes welled up. i almost cried.

right there at the traders point panera bread. (libby "emotional rock" templeton? i think not. not anymore, anyway) it was so totally not about the bagels. it was totally about the little act of grace that he showed. i know it doesn't sound like much. but it really was to me in that moment.

which made me think about all the opportunities i have on a daily basis to be kind. and the opportunities that i totally blow. and the redeeming chances i have tomorrow. it almost makes me want to go to bed right now, just so i'll be that much closer to tomorrow where i can start again. i've talked about my lifelong yearning for the "next big thing" before. and that is one elusive quest, certain to end in disappointment and failed expectations. there is far too much joy to be found in living well today. in giving to others. in showing reckless kindness.

mmmhmmm....