26.2

i've learned enough in my life to know that it doesn't really pay to plan out the rest of your life. that being said, there are a handful of things that i want to do before i die. and running 26.2 miles with 45,000 others was one of them. CHECK.
i've spent the past few months very much devoted to the training program. i didn't go overboard, but i did spend hours and hours a week running longish distances. it was definitely rewarding to even complete the training process, but nothing compared to the actual race, where i ran a whole 6.2 miles longer than i ever had in my life.
here are the facts:
more importantly, i went with 3 other girls, and we all finished! my stated goal was 5 hours, my REAL goal (that i didn't dare tell many others) was 4:45, and my "best case possible scenario" was anything under 4:40. i ran the race in 4:44, so i was under my goal and not too far from what i thought was physically possible for me in the best of circustances. and it wasn't exactly best circumstances: it was in the 30's all day, and at mile 18 or so my knee started to hurt unlike it ever has before. given all that, i was happy to finish under 4:45 and 22,150th place of 45,000. (BEing in the top 50% is always my goal in any race)
at any rate, i am glad to have it behind me, and have truly been overwhlemed at how encouraging my friends and family members have been. many have called or written to say good luck or congratulations and that means so much to me.


in other news, while in chicago i also visited (for the first time) the bean in millenium park. i've been to the city more times than i can count, and had never been. so, we'll check that one off the list as well. it was a preeeetty big deal.

before the coffee brews.

hi jeff. hey allison.

my coffee maker, the 8-dollar walmart version i received as a gift from two of my most precious gcs 8th graders, takes its sweet time in preparing my miracle morning beverage. thus, here you have me in semi-coma mode, intent on fulfilling my promise to my friend and my brother to stop this nonsense of having a blog that i never update. what can i say? i'm a trooper and a promisekeeper. (and a truthteller, but that's neither here nor there)

soooo. what is new in everyone's respective corners of the world? or midwest as the case may be? i am up especially early today. for no good reason except that lately i have been waking up before 6am, bright eyed, bushy-tailed, and totally ready for a new day. a new week. i'm actually excited it's monday. is that funny? life is just that good. seriously. the only thing that could make this morning better is nothing. except maybe a sunrise and an orange scone. but i'll take my quiet kitchen, homemade folgers, and peanut butter toast with cherry jam as a close second.

so i went back home this weekend for a tour de southwest michigan with my roommates. we did all my favorite local places--caffe tosi, silver beach pizza, two wineries, calderwood farms...it was the perfect way to spend the beginning of fall. whenever i go back, i miss living there, but i am also beyond satisfied with indianapolis. i don't think i could have chosen a better place to spend a piece of my life. people keep asking where i'll look for jobs next year. and for many many reasons, the answer is right here in indy. in fact, i would not be opposed to working for ips--the indianapolis public school system that happens to be in total disarray. you guys, i love it here.

i was teaching a piano lesson last week to a little boy named eivin and i was reading him the abbreviated and modified-for- gentleness-and-compassion riot act for not practicing. ever. as in, he doesn't open his piano books in the 167-odd hours between piano lessons and his parents have spent thousands on piano lesson for him and his brother in the past few months alone. so anyway, he stops me in the middle of my tirade and said, "you know, i'm just not sure i can fit piano practicing into my busy schedule...i'm in kindergarten now, i've got to practice my video games, and i'm learning how to read." this kid is in kindergarten. and apparently has quite the social calendar as well...he's just not sure he can find 40-60 minutes a week to practice such songs as "where did you get that hat?," "the zoo", and "tapdancing tadpoles." ah, kids.

in other news, my bro and s.i.l. jeff and mary and getting ever closer to being parents. and are being very closed-mouthed about baby names. i've already told them they are welcome to name their children after me. but i suspect the real reason they don't talk about the possibilities is that they know they'll get subverted and ill-hid opinions from family members about their choices. or at least telling facial expressions (content smile-nods or disapporving eyebrow raises). anyway, it's all very exciting, and regardless of what scandanavian name they choose, i'm sure this kidlin will be adorable and of course very much loved. and dressed like daddy in dark wash jeans and button-up white dress shirt (jeff has a self-imposed uniform.)

in just 2 short weeks, the chicago marathon will be over. the training is getting kind of old. it's not that i'm running any mroe days than normal, just that i have to go for hours at a time some days that i run. when all is said and done, i'm running or spending time in running-related activities (namely showering because i've stopped "air drying" as i did in my college days) for 10-12 hours a week. but in two weeks i will officially cross running a marathon off my "die a happy girl" list and move on to my next task: marrying into money and stopping the hunger in somalia without using violence (nod to john murphy).

and with that, it;s 7:01 and i have coffee to drink, journaling to do, the bible to read, and a whole new day ahead of me. yay. happy monday everyone :)

feels like home.

know how i get obsessive about a song and listen to it until i absolutely can't stand it anymore? [e.g. travelin soldier....which btw i've not heard in YEARS, if you can believe that]...well this summer i've had a whole playlist that i can't get enough of. i can't decide if this is progress or regression. and yet. i ask you, how did i make it this long without having discovered nickel creek? i don't know either.

my move from my apartment went stellar. a huge THANK YOU to kathy q for bringing her parents' truck down from lafayette and helping me move one HOT wednesday evening. we totally girl-powered it and should probably consider starting our own moving company if our careers in education are a bust. it's going to be called two girls, a truck, and an suv. i still have to vacuum out the old place and turn in the keys today. but i'm mostly settled in my new house and i LOVE it. love the neighborhood as well. i have already identified several houses that would be perfectly acceptable abodes once i graduate and begin making tons of money.

ok, that last part was a joke. i know that you THOUGHT i'd be really rich as a school counselor. but alas, probably not. unless i marry well. WHICH btw, is still part of the master plan. anyway, the moral of the story is that my new neighborhood is so cool. (i can't think of a better adjective right now, but know that "cool" doesn't do it justice)...lots of old homes, corner coffeeshops, sidewalks, ahhh. i feel like i've lived here much longer than the 2 weeks i really have. life is so good.

i started my internship at an indianapolis public elementary school last tuesday. i love it. i had no idea that i'd missed being a part of a school so badly. my first week alone was a huge blessing and confirmation of this as my career choice. i'm excited to go back tomorrow, and keep getting to know the kids and teachers. it will be a huge challenge, as the kids come from one of the worst sections of the city. 93% of their parents are unemployed. it is like another world sometimes, but they are sweet kids who ache to be loved.
...they are also germy kids who passed on some cold/flu bug that i got for the better part of last week/weekend. which shocked me, since i thought my immune system was fail-proof.

overall though, i feel like i have just had one good experience after another this summer. and looking back, some have been icky situations where, only after i've looked back on them, did i see their value. it's been a growing summer--a growing year, really.

i went to the indiana state fair a few nights ago, and DID NOT try the chocolate-covered bacon. but i was standing near the booth as some people were eating it, and actually heard one girl say, "actually, it's not very good,"
well now. isn't that a shock? chocolate covered bacon? not very good? GET OUT.

going to traverse city with john "the great american" murphy, girlkq, and joe "i've been to space" jewell. good times will be had by all. it will be jam packed with euchre, wine tasting, and northern michigan cabin-living. it will be an admittedly quick trip (partially my fault for needing to cut it a little short), but hopefully just the thing we all need to jump start the fall craziness that will quickly ensue. yay for quality friends from high school.

hey

calvin friends...
do you remember that time those guys (i think on 3rd bolt) shaved that squirrel? and becca had just learned to knit and said she was going to make it a sweater?
i totally thought of that tonight and COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING.

SPEAKING of squirrels...i almost hit one yesterday. on my rollerblades. how is that possible, you ask? i am just THAT FAST.

Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

When I made up my mind to leave my teaching job at Grace and move to Indianapolis, there was more to that decision than just a career change. I could have stayed in southwest Michigan...done my graduate work at WMU, kept the job I LOVED, and proceeded through life in what had become my "normal." I had built a life in St. Joe that I truly loved, but there was something missing. And it's something that I've only now begun to be able to articulate. Whenever I meet new people in Indy and they ask about what brought me here, it's been hard to explain exactly why I moved here...why I left a job that was fun, fulfilling, challenging, etc...and moved to a new place. [INDIANA, no less!!!!] It's not exactly exotic, Lake Michigan is 3 hours away, and the winters are still bitterly cold. When I was in St. Joe, I think what was missing is that there was one piece of my life in which I had not stepped out in faith. Not to say that life in St joe was easy...it's actually very difficult to return to your hometown and begin a life as an adult. It involves re-working family roles and expectations along with the challenges of beginning a career, managing an apartment, and being self-sufficient. I look back on my life though, and see how those three years were absolutely essential in my own "growing up." When I graduated from college, I was in no place emotionally to pack up and move away from my entire network of support. I needed to be somewhere familiar because I was pretty raw and dealing with huge life change and broken expectation for how my life would unfold. God was so gracious though, and gave me a job at a place where I felt I fit and was loved. Those years flew by so quickly that I almost cannot believe I watched three precious classes graduate. Words cannot describe how my 3 years at Grace have enriched my life, introduced me to people who I will cherish forever, and gave me confidence to pursue this next step in my career.

What was lacking in St. Joe though was my need to truly step OUT in faith. I had so many backup plans in St Joe...if my life were a highwire act, you could say that I had about 10 nets in place in case I fell...my parents (who I knew would rescue me financially, emotionally, etc if I ever needed it), friends from high school, a familiar church, a familiar town, etc To those who have moved across the globe (or even across the country) may not see my move 3 hours south as all that daring or faithful. But it IS a big deal to say goodbye to a full and satisfying life in one to start over in another, even if it's only one state away.

What has very much been on my heart the past few weeks is not only how different my life is now than it was a year ago, but also how God has blessed me more than I really could have imagined when I prayed for a good experience in Indy a year ago. I had hoped to make a good friend or two in my program, maybe find a good church where there were another couple people with whom I could connect. So imagine my surprise and joy to not only have made a several close friends at school, but also to have a group from church of quality people who love God and challenge one another to live in abundance and truth.

I feel that my time in St Joe was an amazing time of healing, renewal, and preparation for the next step of my life. But it was in place for a season, and I am only now far enough removed from it to process what I did and learned during that time. And this reflection brings me to my knees...to see how God's timing works and how he really does answer prayers. This is something I know, but rarely trust. How many times have I asked for something out of ignorance ("God please give me a friend in Indianapolis") and God gives back many times over what I asked for?!? But there's really more to it than that. While I never regretted my decision to move to Indy, I did wonder if God could have drawn me close in faith to him when I was in St Joe. And I'm sure he could have, but I do believe that my move, and some of the loneliness that comes in the time between meeting people and truly getting to know them, drew me closer to God. I have had many quiet hours alone in my apartment....and it's been in this silence that I have made the time to pray, read the Bible, and allow myself to be vulnerable. My busy life in St. Joe was fun but it distracted me in many ways from truly knowing myself in my weakness. I felt that I had it all together. And that even if I didn't, there were nets to catch me if I let something fall. I lived a life largely characterized by obedience for obedience's sake rather than following God out of faith.

All this to say, it hasn't been the easiest thing to do--I miss my old job immensely, and I think of my past students often, sometimes with tears, sometimes with laughter. I sometimes wish that I could transplant my job at Grace and move it to Indy, that I could bring my friends from St joe to indy as well. But let's say that could happen...I would not have had the same experience in Indy as I've had. I made this move, and I take the whole experience as it is, the fulfilling parts, the empty parts, the areas where God has taught me, the areas where I'm still learning to trust. Life is a mix of the good and bad, and it's not necessarily been an easy 4 years since my college days. But it certainly has been a time of growing. With each passing day, I am coming to see Job's words as even more true for own life...I have sought to know what God has in my future, only to realize that perhaps I'm jumping the gun, asking for things that I don't understand while God' plan is too wonderful (in the overall, fulfilling sense, not in the immediate gratification or temporal pleasure sense) for me to know.

For some of you reading this, you're maybe seeing a new side of Libby :) It's where I'm at right now...processing what I've learned the past year. This is just a glimpse into my heart right now, a place that I don't always let other see. But you know what, it's who I am :)



But speaking of treasures in Indy, I will give you a Levi story of the day.
Yesterday I was over there teaching him a piano lesson. He likes to use the pedals on his keyboard, and he also likes to press this slide that changes the pitch of the keys in all kinds of wonky ways. But he gets distracted easily, so I don't let him do that stuff until the end of the piano lesson. So at the beginning, I said "Levi, let's review the rules for our piano lesson." And he replied.."These are the three rules for our piano lesson, Libby....no pitch, no pedals, no silliness."
And then he said "let me give you a hug, Libby."

"richard, can i call you dick?"...."absolutely not!"

this gets me EVERYTIME!
thanks allison, for saying what's on your mind.

fab friends, fun runs, and no news is good news

hey friends. what up?
it seems that friday nights have become my catch-up times, wherein i stay at home and do all the things i should have done the past week. or two, as the case may be. i have done the bare minimum to keep afloat lately in school. I've also spent some QUAL-I-TY time wiht great friends and fambly, so i'm not feeling guilty. just behind. i've got a packed next-ten-days ahead of me as well, so here i find myself.

alone.
in the dark.

JK! but i cam sitting at home, exhausted from chasing some kidlins all afternoon for a project from my practicum class.
so how was your 4th of july?
thanks for asking, mine was FABULOUS. and that is no exaggeration. it was the best weekend of 2009, with the lone exception of OWNING the minimarathon with beth in may.

i will now take you through the highlights step by step.


oooh, my first highlight has nothing to do with the 4th. on june 27, my two awesome neighbors shree and serena and their cousin nanette and i did the indy nite ride, where basically 1/5 of downtown is closed down for 2 hours at 11pm on a saturday night, and 2500 bicyclists ride 20 miles through the streets of indianapolis. it was SO MUCH FUN. we got there kind of early and had hours to wait before the ride began, but we had lots of fun. next year, we're playing euchre, bringing snacks (not healthy ones, if i have anything to say about it), and basically, a good time will be had by all. if you'll be in the indianapolis area, have a bike with a headlight (or do what i did and strap a headlamp to the front. classy maneuver, i know), and a helmet, JOIN US NEXT YEAR!!! i'm serious guys, it was a blast. you missed out big time. sorry, but you did.

anyway...
back to my #1 weekend. (btw, why is it so hard to come back to real life after having a life changing experience such as the celebration of the birth of an ENTIRE NATION, or a celine dion concert. )
so it all began when allison invited herself to my parents house for a couple days. i was like, "i guess...." JK! it was so fun to bring one of my grad school friends back to the mitten (with which she was SMITTEN!) for a couple days. the bummer however was the lack of good beachgoing weather. so instead of wine tasting and sunbathing, we watched gone with the wind (longest movie ever!) and played a round of pingpong. we really know how to make the most of our time :).....actually, we stayed pretty active despite the cool weather and rain, and that activity included a workout, that, though only 20 minutes long, took DAYS for me to recover from. um, no joke. i haven't done a real sit-up since probably the presidential fitness test in elementary school. which i failed miserably. shocking, i know!

allison left for g-rap on thursday, and i played croquet for the first time in my life on thursday night. and lost. to a 67 year old. awesome. that does a real number on my whole self-concept that i'd spent the past 4 years so carefully building up. in an instant, on a summer evening's dewey grass to the tune of crickets' songs...GONE. who am i and why am i here?

jeff and mary showed up for the holiday on friday. and they brought their new....SNUGGIE. that's right, jeff is the proud new owner of the famous blanket with sleeves. but there's more... I WANT ONE NOW! seriously, the snuggie is ll it's crack'd up to be, all i'd imagined, AND MORE! i could read, without my arms geting cold. in a word? amazing.

that's no lie. if i'm anything, you should know by now, i'm a truthteller
[somewhat-related sidenote: allison, you really need to take care of those split ends. i noticed]

ok, so moving on to friday. i had a GREAT time reconnecting with kristin and abby. we spent the day getting fried on saugatuck's oval beach (known in some circles as one of the premier clothing-optional beaches in...michigan? the country? 'm not sure, but the closest we saw to nude was speedos on many a man) i came home from sauagatuck very much filled up from the good time we had just hanging out, catching up, laughing, reminsicing, and being together again. we even found a dead animal for abby to point at and take a picture. the saugatuck squirrel joins the ranks of some dead fish on the ludington beach, and some beheaded seal somewhere several years ago. abby, usually up to any challenge when it involves even a small payout, would not take me up on an offer to order "hotcakes" instead of "pancakes." off the menu. i even think i offered her a whole dollar. there are some words she just cannot be persuaded to say. but hotcakes? who would have thought....?

saturday was a run slash walk with leisa and fireworks on the beach. michigan summers are as near to perfection as you could imagine.

there's so much more i could tell you all, faithful friends, but my hands are kind of sick of typing. ii have some lofty academic goals for the rest of the evening, and plans to run 10 miles in the am, bright and early before it gets to be 90 degrees. yeehaw.
happy friday evening!